Make DeadlineConn http.Listener compatible (#20635)

HTTP likes to slap an infinite read deadline on a connection and 
do a blocking read while the response is being written.

This effectively means that a reading deadline becomes the 
request-response deadline.

Instead of enforcing our timeout, we pass it through and keep 
"infinite deadline" is sticky on connections.

However, we still "record" when reads are aborted, so we never overwrite that.

The HTTP server should have `ReadTimeout` and `IdleTimeout` set for the deadline to be effective.

Use --idle-timeout for incoming connections.

internal/grid/manager.go

@@ -32,6 +32,7 @@ import (
 	"github.com/gobwas/ws/wsutil"
 	"github.com/google/uuid"
 	"github.com/minio/madmin-go/v3"
+	"github.com/minio/minio/internal/deadlineconn"
 	"github.com/minio/minio/internal/pubsub"
 	"github.com/minio/mux"
 )
@@ -188,6 +189,8 @@ func (m *Manager) Handler(authReq func(r *http.Request) error) http.HandlerFunc
 // This should be called with the incoming connection after accept.
 // Auth is handled internally, as well as disconnecting any connections from the same host.
 func (m *Manager) IncomingConn(ctx context.Context, conn net.Conn) {
+	// We manage our own deadlines.
+	conn = deadlineconn.Unwrap(conn)
 	remoteAddr := conn.RemoteAddr().String()
 	// will write an OpConnectResponse message to the remote and log it once locally.
 	defer conn.Close()